Alright so I got invited to some random group, I hit accept without thinking about it. Today the leader messaged me, to just well.. Not talk about anything really, it was the most boring conversation I'd had in a long time. WELL NOT FOR LONG! At random I started it off with:

Swiss Army Knife: You're not ECST are you?
(DvGKS)Dark|UBZ|: whats that>
Swiss Army Knife: Swiss equivalent of secret police
(DvGKS)Dark|UBZ|: I'm not Swiss
(DvGKS)Dark|UBZ|: So no
Swiss Army Knife: Oh sure you say that now
(DvGKS)Dark|UBZ|: I'm not
(DvGKS)Dark|UBZ|: Ask Tom
(DvGKS)Dark|UBZ|: I'm American
Swiss Army Knife: Why would you openly tell me you were ECST?
(DvGKS)Dark|UBZ|: Ask player who knows me in real life
Swiss Army Knife: Tom LeFleure!?
(DvGKS)Dark|UBZ|: I'....
(DvGKS)Dark|UBZ|: NO
(DvGKS)Dark|UBZ|: Who's that?
Swiss Army Knife: HE'S THE VP OF ECST
(DvGKS)Dark|UBZ|: lol
(DvGKS)Dark|UBZ|: You're cracking me up
Swiss Army Knife: God damnit I knew they'd come for me eventually
Swiss Army Knife: Look your probably just some desk jockey but you fucking tell Tom HE CAN SUCK IT!
(DvGKS)Dark|UBZ|: lol
Swiss Army Knife: They're not gonna find me I'm behind like 4 proxies right now.
(DvGKS)Dark|UBZ|: Im American
Swiss Army Knife: Suuuuuuuuuuuure you are
Swiss Army Knife: What's the capital of Hawaii?
(DvGKS)Dark|UBZ|: Honolulu
Swiss Army Knife: ONLY AN AMERICAN WOULD KNOW THAT
Swiss Army Knife: So you're American
Swiss Army Knife: OR MAYBE THAT'S WHAT YOU WANT ME TO BELIEVE ISNT IT RICHARD?!
(DvGKS)Dark|UBZ|: Actually most Americans wouldn't know that
(DvGKS)Dark|UBZ|: Cause with Hawaii being far from the mainland people don't pay attention to it
(DvGKS)Dark|UBZ|: Ask me the capital of a different state
Swiss Army Knife: They should
Swiss Army Knife: Considering it houses over 88 tons of thermocryptonic warheads
(DvGKS)Dark|UBZ|: How'd you know that!!!!?????
Swiss Army Knife: BUT THAT'S BESIDE THE POINT
(DvGKS)Dark|UBZ|: That's actually top secret to the government
(DvGKS)Dark|UBZ|: The info can't leave the country
(DvGKS)Dark|UBZ|: damn
(DvGKS)Dark|UBZ|: Im kidding
(DvGKS)Dark|UBZ|: its not top secret
Swiss Army Knife: Look Richard I didn't come this far to get taken down over fucking Steam chat, so you go tell Tom and Mary to stop bothering
(DvGKS)Dark|UBZ|: lol
(DvGKS)Dark|UBZ|: Im not part of this EDSCT
Swiss Army Knife: ...
Swiss Army Knife: EDSCT!?
Swiss Army Knife: THAT'S TOP TOP SECRET POLICE
Swiss Army Knife: This goes deeper than I thought..
Swiss Army Knife: AND YOU'RE NOT RICHARD ARE YOU?!
(DvGKS)Dark|UBZ|: Ok now thats a lie, Joe
Swiss Army Knife: You're not blackfall are you?
(DvGKS)Dark|UBZ|: omg
Swiss Army Knife: Hmm well you don't know my real name so you can't be blackfall, they're too smart for that
(DvGKS)Dark|UBZ|: Dude!
(DvGKS)Dark|UBZ|: I'm a ten year old American
(DvGKS)Dark|UBZ|: If I have to bring up papers
(DvGKS)Dark|UBZ|: I will
(DvGKS)Dark|UBZ|: I'll get the immigration papers of my great grandparent
(DvGKS)Dark|UBZ|: s
(DvGKS)Dark|UBZ|: Stop with the joke
Swiss Army Knife: No ten year old American types like that
(DvGKS)Dark|UBZ|: Cause I know you are joking
(DvGKS)Dark|UBZ|: Yeah they do
(DvGKS)Dark|UBZ|: I'm really smart
(DvGKS)Dark|UBZ|: lol
Swiss Army Knife: You haven't even been through TSS training yet have you?
(DvGKS)Dark|UBZ|: TSS?
(DvGKS)Dark|UBZ|: WTH is that?
(DvGKS)Dark|UBZ|: U R starting to piss me off!
Swiss Army Knife: Tetra Salin Spy
(DvGKS)Dark|UBZ|: Nevr herd of it
Swiss Army Knife: It's the first wing of the espionage branch of ECST
(DvGKS)Dark|UBZ|: Ok an' what do u want with me?
(DvGKS)Dark|UBZ|: Ok this is really not funny anymore
Swiss Army Knife: You know what I want from you?
(DvGKS)Dark|UBZ|: What
Swiss Army Knife: To leave me the fuck alone! Look I made a mistake, but it was years ago. The fucking SAS was on my ass and I didn't have any other choice. You assholes stripped me of my rank, and sent the hounds after me
(DvGKS)Dark|UBZ|: Dude
(DvGKS)Dark|UBZ|: Im not part of w/e this thing your talking about
(DvGKS)Dark|UBZ|: God fucking damnit
(DvGKS)Dark|UBZ|: You're annoying
Swiss Army Knife: Calm down soldier
(DvGKS)Dark|UBZ|: Soldier?
(DvGKS)Dark|UBZ|: Soldier!
Swiss Army Knife: SOLDIER
(DvGKS)Dark|UBZ|: You just called me a soldier bitch!
Swiss Army Knife: You are at least a Soldier aren't you?
Swiss Army Knife: Jesus you're not some scrubbing desk jockey in the forces are you?
(DvGKS)Dark|UBZ|: Fuck off, or I'll fuckin' get on a plane, come to Swiss Land, and rearrange your face
(DvGKS)Dark|UBZ|: No, because Im not in the army
Swiss Army Knife: Good luck doing that with your small ten year old boy hands
(DvGKS)Dark|UBZ|: I'm a 10 year old American named Richard McKenney, that lives in Stafford,Springs, Connecticut, United States of American
(DvGKS)Dark|UBZ|: America*
Swiss Army Knife: What's your sociotopic ID?
(DvGKS)Dark|UBZ|: whats that?
Swiss Army Knife: What do you mean what's that?
(DvGKS)Dark|UBZ|: Is that some Swiss thing
Swiss Army Knife: OH FUCK they're not instituting that until 2011
Swiss Army Knife: Look they're going to be putting scannable chips in your arm come 2011, they can track you can your health and all that jazz.
Swiss Army Knife: You'll also get an ID number to go along with it
(DvGKS)Dark|UBZ|: Bull
(DvGKS)Dark|UBZ|: Not in America
Swiss Army Knife: Well unless we got this intelligence from some other country called America then yeah
(DvGKS)Dark|UBZ|: America lies to other countries to keep them out of our business
(DvGKS)Dark|UBZ|: a lot
(DvGKS)Dark|UBZ|: So that might not be true
Swiss Army Knife: We didn't fucking ask them about it numbnuts
(DvGKS)Dark|UBZ|: I know
(DvGKS)Dark|UBZ|: They'll lie to other countries randomly
(DvGKS)Dark|UBZ|: To keep our actual business secret
Swiss Army Knife: We found out about that and experimental Cryptostasis back in July
Swiss Army Knife: They've got two facilities for it and are building distrubution centers in most cities.
Swiss Army Knife: We lost one man because of this, so they know we know about it.
(DvGKS)Dark|UBZ|: w/e
(DvGKS)Dark|UBZ|: That's a complete invasion of privacy bte
(DvGKS)Dark|UBZ|: w
(DvGKS)Dark|UBZ|: It would be against the United States Constitution
(DvGKS)Dark|UBZ|: So I can guarentee it won't happen
(DvGKS)Dark|UBZ|: I doubt a new ammendment will be passed
Swiss Army Knife: A little old consititution has never stopped them before. Even if the Improved Socioeconomic Stimulas bill fails, they'll find another way.
(DvGKS)Dark|UBZ|: Actually
(DvGKS)Dark|UBZ|: The Consitution always stops them unless an ammendment gets passed
Swiss Army Knife: Or, they'll try another stunt like 9/11
(DvGKS)Dark|UBZ|: stunt?!?
(DvGKS)Dark|UBZ|: It wasn't a stunt
(DvGKS)Dark|UBZ|: You Swiss are stupid if you think it was a stunt
(DvGKS)Dark|UBZ|: A terrorist attack, dumbass
(DvGKS)Dark|UBZ|: it wasnt a stunt
Swiss Army Knife: They'll most likely falsify an attack from some unknown smoke and mirrors enemy, and then declare then enemies of the state, and slowly progress into stricter and stricter government, all in the name of safety.
Swiss Army Knife: Which is where we step in
(DvGKS)Dark|UBZ|: Nope!!!!!!!!!!!
(DvGKS)Dark|UBZ|: Dude
(DvGKS)Dark|UBZ|: we're at war because of 9/11
(DvGKS)Dark|UBZ|: Thousands of soldiers are over in Iraq
Swiss Army Knife: America consititutes 70% of our tourism, so you all being forbidden to leave the country would seriously jeoperdize that.
(DvGKS)Dark|UBZ|: You know what
(DvGKS)Dark|UBZ|: Fuck you!
(DvGKS)Dark|UBZ|: tourism?
(DvGKS)Dark|UBZ|: That would be could
(DvGKS)Dark|UBZ|: its terrorism
Swiss Army Knife: No no no
Swiss Army Knife: Tourism, American tourists coming over here
(DvGKS)Dark|UBZ|: terrorism dumbass!
(DvGKS)Dark|UBZ|: oh
(DvGKS)Dark|UBZ|: Okay
Swiss Army Knife: To spend money etc.
(DvGKS)Dark|UBZ|: Dude
(DvGKS)Dark|UBZ|: America wouldn't waist time on Swiss Land
(DvGKS)Dark|UBZ|: Cause most of us hate it!
Swiss Army Knife: Most of you have absolutely no idea where Switzerland is.
Swiss Army Knife: Which is what we prefer
Swiss Army Knife: We're a seemingly innocent country and we've kept up that guise for several hundred years now.
(DvGKS)Dark|UBZ|: We don't know because we dont care
Swiss Army Knife: Yet they all fail to realize we're the ones with the spyglass, and we're the ones ever watching and ready at any moment.
(DvGKS)Dark|UBZ|: No one cares to go check
(DvGKS)Dark|UBZ|: And you west of Germanty
(DvGKS)Dark|UBZ|: South of france
Swiss Army Knife: Exactly, why check?
(DvGKS)Dark|UBZ|: Excuse me
Swiss Army Knife: I have my favorite TV show on tonight and my daughter just threw up on herself.
Swiss Army Knife: I'm just an American why should I care about anything outside my country?
Swiss Army Knife: Which is also why your own government is slowly lowering the blinders over your eyes, so you don't even realize what's going on.
(DvGKS)Dark|UBZ|: You know what
(DvGKS)Dark|UBZ|: I'm calling my State Representitive now
Swiss Army Knife: "Did you hear they're requiring passcards to leave the city?" "Yeah, but if they didn't imagine what could happen, those [INSERT ENEMY HERE] could strike again"
(DvGKS)Dark|UBZ|: Cause you just flowed out Swiss Land's plans
Swiss Army Knife: Haha, your State Representative?
(DvGKS)Dark|UBZ|: Who will give your plan to the president
(DvGKS)Dark|UBZ|: Thats how it works
Swiss Army Knife: Of course I did, and I'm sure that everyone will believe you when you tell them "Some guy on Steam told me this!"
(DvGKS)Dark|UBZ|: Actually
(DvGKS)Dark|UBZ|: You dont know
(DvGKS)Dark|UBZ|: I could have all this info on you
Swiss Army Knife: And we have no plan, or at least none that I've disclosed to you.
(DvGKS)Dark|UBZ|: You'd have no clue
Swiss Army Knife: I've only disclosed information that your government is obviously already privy to, since they're the ones behind it.
(DvGKS)Dark|UBZ|: Is it lega?
Swiss Army Knife: And they already know, that we know, because they captured and killed one of our agents.
(DvGKS)Dark|UBZ|: Shut up
Swiss Army Knife: But again, we're just innocent little Switzerland, at what point could we be a threat? So no, they'll leave us be as usual and we'll continue on.
(DvGKS)Dark|UBZ|: I'm going to a Sox (Red Sox) game now
(DvGKS)Dark|UBZ|: bye
Swiss Army Knife: Have fun 10 year old American boy.
(DvGKS)Dark|UBZ| is now Offline.